Behold! The Yeasty Elixir! With the Marmite Haters Soldiers fighting it off as well as my Marmite earrings to the right…

Gather round, friends, for I have something of the utmost secrecy and overwhelming importance to share with you.

Before you read on, I must ask you a solemn question.

Marmite: Do you love it or hate it?

If you answered “I love it” please click the READ MORE link which will take you further into the depths of this Marmite-induced adventure.

If you answered “I hate it” please skip to my post about Jocelyn’s cheesecake.  Sort of like a Choose Your Own Adventure Blog.

The Guardian of The First Circle

If you are reading this, then you obviously love Marmite.  You love the way it tastes on toast, or on toast dipped into boiled eggs, or the way it soothes your tummy after a night of boozing, or even how you can put it into sauces to enrichen their flavour.  Some of you may even love it because you understand that it’s only a select few who were born with the ability to comprehend the majesty and nobility of this most gracious yeasty spread.

Perhaps you have been told stories of The Marmarati.  Perhaps you felt, along with most other secret societies, that it was all just conspiracy theories and wishy-washy whispers around darkened pub tables that could never have any amount of truth in them.

But, no.  The Marmarati are real, oh yes.  They have been around for a hundred years, protecting the sanctity of Marmite and its secret recipe behind closed doors away from public scrutiny.

The Elders of The Marmarati

Now, the Elders of The Marmarati feel it’s time to find the next generation of Marmaratis, Marmite lovers who will uphold the spirit and protect the dignity of this most polarizing friend-of-toast.

I can humbly announce that I was invited into The First Circle of The Marmarati, made up 40 Marmite Lovers last week in London, at the beautifully plush No 5 Cavendish Square. Our host of the evening was Fotherington-Smythe, whom you may spot in the below pic as he is dressed in the most fetching manner with pirate cap and white knee-high socks.

We were treated to a fabulous night where the champagne, Rose Petal cocktails and Marmite cocktails flowed.

We were treated to a blind-folded test of three new secret blends of Marmite, one of which I believe to be the famed, notorious MXO, the newest and most powerful blend of Marmite known to man.

Most importantly, we were able to bask in the knowledge that we were among friends: we were all there to support and cherish Marmite, forever, and my, what a bond it created.

To complete The Marmarati, the Elders are seeking out another 160 of the TOP Marmite Lovers from around the world.  Now it’s time for you to stake your pledge as a protector of Marmite.

Go forth!  To The Marmarati website!  Where you have but 27 days left to explain to The Inner Sanctum that you are worthy of being part of The Second Circle of The Marmarati.

Should you be successful, not only will you have the honour and pride of being a soldier of Marmite, but you will also receive a jar of MXO – the strongest and most powerful Marmite ever before made.

So….are you in?  Or are you out?

On the right, my precious Marmarati First Circle certificate.

Have a look over here for some more pictures of our Initiation Night at No 5 Cavendish Square.